Pictures to Prove it

With uncharacteristic foresight, (and characteristic gall) my Christmas list this year had only one request:
"Anything, as long as it fits in my wallet."

I'm only taking a car load of stuff with me to San Diego. Anything that doesn't fit gets given to roommates, goodwill, or the sanitation department. My family understood, but I still felt like kind of a spoilsport.

Well, they sure showed me. My sister accounts for probably ten of these gift cards. All the fast food cards are from her. My parents and grandparents filled in the rest with sensible cards for housewares to get me settled once I arrive in SD. And I certainly don't want to look a gift card in the mouth, but I'm thinking that gas card might just get me out of New England!

Of course, all of these gift cards don't exactly meet the only criteria I specified, but I won't complain too much about that.

I also got a nifty GPS device for the trip. Anyone who's driven with me recently - especially in Boston - knows I can't find my way around for shit. That is, unless Brian is in the car. He's a pretty good navigator. He sits in front and tells me where to turn. And while he doesn't hang from a suction cup on the windshield, and he doesn't sound like a 30-something woman from Long Island, he still reminds me of my new GPS unit. That's why, in his honor, I'm naming the GPS Bojangles. And god forbid I figure out how to hack a new voice onto it.

Back in 2001, my Grandmother "Grammy" gave me two disposable cameras as I was leaving for Basic Training. I took them with me, but got little use out of them there.

They got stashed in a box when I moved to Secondary Training at Goodfellow AFB, TX. I found them again when I moved to Korea (I think those pictures are on the other roll that's not finished yet),

then when I moved to Georgia I discovered them hiding in a moving box,

and again when I moved to Dover. Every time I found the cameras, I took a photo of myself and my surroundings, and then stashed the camera back in the box. It turned into a sort of time capsule for The Future.

Well a few days ago, The Future arrived. I found the cameras, and snapped the last pictures on one of them. I rushed to CVS to get them developed. Who knows what treasures they held! Well, now you know.

I don't think disposable cameras will cut it anymore though. So I ran by Best Buy today and picked up a digital camera for the trip. Hopefully I'll snap some decent stuff to post! I'm almost all packed. The goal is to leave by noon tomorrow. Wish me luck!


brainie said...

Dude, if you do figure out how to hack a new voice onto that thing, and you give me a list of all the phrases you need, I will record you every single one.

KitchenGirl said...

Start yer engines!

So if you're leaving by noon, I should expect a phone call asking where you are by noon-oh-five?

"What do you see in front of you? Turn left at the mall... Nope nope, you're heading to Charlestown."

Aaron said...

What do you need a GPS for?

Here you go:
I-95S for 693 miles to Jacksonville.
I-10W for 1960 miles.

Outside Phoenix, turn onto I-8W.

Proceed 336 miles to San Diego.

Voila! 3 turns and you're in the land of milk and honey. Though, milk was a bad choice.

Drive safely. :)

KitchenGirl said...

But if he stays further north on 40, he can swing by the Grand Canyon (*don't* fall in! It really does happen, as recently as October!) and then on up to Vegas for a weekend of sin and debauchery. Make sure to bring your stuff into D-C's room otherwise someone will boost your gear to pay for poker chips. Or hookers.

Safe travels!

Aaron said...

I've got it!

Brett, follow this route.. now, you might flinch, but allow me to explain.

(cut and paste, sorry) http://fantastipotamus.go-dedicated.com/brett.jpg

1) You're gonna want to hit Roanoke, VA. Beautiful country.

2) Next, Charlotte, NC, relive the glory days of the Hornets and Larry Johnson and his character "Grandma".

3) Atlanta, very happening these days, or 'Hotlanta' as the kids call it. Bank robbery capital of the US these days!

4) Birmingham, AL: Hey, why not?

5) Memphis: 'nuff said.

6) Fort Smith, AR: The Soutern Dandy, pick me up a corncob pipe!

7) Through Oklahoma, don't stop.

8) Amarilo, TX: Try to find an Armadillo and hold it up next to 'now entering' sign, just because the names are close.

9) turn around and head to Springfield, MO. Pretend thats where the Simpsons are from.

10) St. Louis: see that arch and stuff

11) Chicago & Milwaukee: it's like, the haps, man!

12) West! WEST! Omaha, Nebraska, visit the Lincoln Financial processing center there, tell them the Concord office says "Hows the weather down there?"

13) Ft Collins, CO: Another fort, those are cool, right?

14) DICKINSON, ND oops sorry caps, this is north Dakota, nothing happens here, sorry

15) Regina, Saskatchewan: ask the locals where the Sasquatch (they might call it the abominable snowman up there) is. buy things that now cost a lot more with your inferior american dollar.

16) Saskatoon: buy a spitoon, i'm sure you can find one there.

17) Lloydminster: right on the border between Saskatchewan & Alberta, hop the line a few times, and see if you can meet a minister.

18) Edmonton Albert, no trip to the westcoast would be complete without a stop in Edmonton.

19) KAMLOOPS haha just go here, British columbia is nice

20) Spokane, WA: go here and sing JEREMY SPOKANE as loud as you can (by Pearl Jam)

21) Butte, MT: just keep calling it "butt" when you get there. trust me, the locals love it.

22) Idaho sucks, but its unavoidable, sorry

23) Portland, Oregon: catch some rain in a bottle, wear it around your neck for good luck

24) Reading, CA: buy some books and "read" them. Also, paint the town "read".

25) Salt Lake City: find a mormon, and ask them how that whole poligamy thing is going.

26) Vegas, as indicated by Kitchen Girl, do whatever sort of debauchery you were planning.

27) San Diego! Tada! \o/

Should only take a few months.. :)

KitchenGirl said...

As long as he's up in Milwaukee he might as well head on up to Oshkosh. I hear they make some quality dungarees up there. You have him backtracking from Amarillo ("Ooooh Amarillooooo! What you want my baby for?") so he won't get to re-enact the Bugs Bunny joke about turning left at Albequerque, but he is going through Reno, so in case he accidentally gets married along the way he can obtain a quickie divorce there, that way he'll be free and clear before he hits the beaches of SD. Remember, Brett: "Ripple"! Learn it, know it, live it. The sorts of chicks who are inclined to wear flowy skirts and crocheted bikini tops that you can't help but stare at because you're not really sure if you can see through them or what really dig mellow Grateful Dead tunes, although the quality ones will prefer "Blackbird" so keep that in mind.