Give me one Good Reason

Yes, I'm moving to San Diego. No, I don't have a Good Reason.

Some people don't realize this, but there exist only three Good Reasons for moving: girl, job, and family. These reasons are good. They are at once understood. They do not cause one's sanity to be questioned. The Good Reasons represent universally recognized and acceptable situations, beliefs, and emotions.

Here is an incomplete list of Bad Reasons to move: sunny weather, beaches, change for change's sake, and inquisitiveness. Citing any Bad Reason is cause for funny looks, doubt, and/or pity.

The truth is I'm young, adaptable, free-spirited, and have lived on the east coast for most of my life. There's more out there for me than Boston has to offer. There's more out there for me than San Diego has to offer, for that matter. This isn't about finding a new place to live, it's about feeling alive in a new place. I'm awesome at new places. I explore the surroundings and myself. I challenge myself. Out of my comfort zone and with no safety net, I thrive. I feel like the person that I want to be.

I'm pretty bad about going after things I want during the doldrums of everyday routine. I compensate for that by identifying BIG things that I want and committing to their acquisition. I want badly to live on the water, under the sun, on the sand. Aside from losing touch with friends, there's no reason I shouldn't go.

Different friends have had different reactions. From "That's awesome, go for it. Fortune favors the bold. Do you need help packing? Why aren't you gone yet?" to "That is a huge mistake. You need to stop running. We won't be friends anymore if you leave. Please stay." I do appreciate the people who have spoken their minds about it either way. It's not so bad having friends that disagree with you.

I kinda liked this one too: "We're only ever an inch apart. It just depends on which map you use."


seth.loves.seth said...

It's clear you appreciate and know things I appreciate and know and also things I don't. Can you write my blog for me? You'd do a much better job than I do.

KitchenGirl said...

Please don't forget about us when you're surrounded by your new, better-looking, California friends. It will probably be difficult forcing your mind away from tanned surfer chicks in bikinis back to us pale New Englanders with our Seasonal Affective Disorder surliness, but I trust you can manage.

Cole Parker said...

You know, as do most others, that I want you to stay. As the most opinionated person in your life I couldn't possibly disagree with your moving or this post more. There are a million good reasons to leave, the three you listed are easy reasons, ones people believe. Those are the reasons to leave that people understand without question, but not the "good" ones. The bad ones, as you say, are the ones people are confused by. What really matters to you isn't good or bad reasons; it's people believing your lies. You're lying to yourself, and you know it; this blog is proof. The real reason you are leaving will be with you when you get to where you're leaving next. The explanations you list are reasons people will believe; you're hoping to lull them into your self deception with this post. If things go according to your plan your friends will reiterate them to you, so you'll believe them too. I told you last night that the easiest way to lie to someone was to lie to someone else and have that person lie to your target. Well, you need to lie to yourself, so you try and convince others of something you don't believe and in doing so you hope they will tell you they agree, hence convincing yourself of the lie. Good luck my friend, when you stop lying to yourself you let me know. You and that which you are running from will always be an inch away from each other; that is till you stop running.

Maddie said...

I guess I can see where you are coming from. I, too, love adventures and new spontaneous things. My only regret is that it seperates us. If you're running, don't run. But if you're living then live.

And hopefully what your quote is true, and we will only ever be an inch apart :)

Mike Machenry said...

Other questionable reasons for movie across the country:

I have no other use for my basketball-shaped refrigerator's car adapter.

PPM developers use me primarily for target practice and I'm not even a PPM developer anymore.

I know longer am audible to Chip in his new office, thus my usefulness in the physical office has expired.

I will no longer be the only person in my apartment without a big-screen TV.

There may, in fact, be girls in San Diego, reducing this reason to a previously agreed upon "good" reason for moving.

Have a great trip, I can't wait to read about it.

Joel said...

Having the ability to recognize what your spirit is telling you to do is one thing, following through with it is entirely different. I've always been jealous of your ability to make these life changing decisions with such confidence. I suppose you're like Bart in the Brad Goodman episode. I do what I feel like. Kudos to you friend. There's only one Brett on the east coast, and the west coast is in for a treat. Good luck, and I can't wait to visit you. Got milk?

Hammy said...

i am so jealous! san diego is one of my absolute favorite places. i do not doubt that you will thrive there - just don't forget about your best hat league team ever :)

i'll definitely let you know next time i'm in town. til then...there's always facebook...

novemberfive said...

The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle. - Anais Nin

Good luck out there, and stay in touch.

Aaron said...

Lloyd: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd: I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen (ed: San Diego).
Harry: Oh, I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.

I find the easiest thing to do is to ask you not to go for my own selfish reasons, all the while failing to realize those aren't really the opinions that matter. You need to do what your heart tells you, and I think you are, because you only get one.

That's why, with a heavy heart, I proclaim that you won't be able to hack it out there, but confident inside that you will. I can only hope my occasional naysaying does exactly as it's intended, and helps you when you need help the most, and when you're this close to turning around (the midwest fuckin' sucks, just keep driving! You won't regret it when you hit New Mexico).

Good luck, my friend, you'll be missed, but I, like Joel, will visit.

And DO watch out for the French, because I know a few, and they are assholes. ;)